A Mixed Bag- Fickle updates/Camilla and farting pigs

The Indian Runners in defensive mode....watching a cat in the long grass

To answer Mrs Fickle's anxious email...YES the hysterical Indian Runner Ducks are still with me!

The field compliment of ducks has plateaued at 8 birds. (5 Indian Runners females, 1 Indian runner cross female, 1 magpie female and Halleh, the bog standard lone drake with sexuality problems .

I need a runner drake to bring back a better blood line within the group and Halleh, who has practically tried to rape every dark coloured hen on the field, will be removed to pastures new.

Most of the ducks are over two years old now and despite their maturity still they retain the rather irritating persona of a group of teenage girls that have been locked inside a ghost train.

Every move you make on the field, whether it be filling up the pond with a bucket or scratching your arse with the blunt end of the garden hoe, the runners will spy your actions, look at each other with slightly anxious expressions then launch themselves into what only could be described as uncontrolled hysterics

"Scream!!!!!!run!!!!!!!!!!! run like the wind"

I love them dearly.....they lay scores of beautiful blue eggs too! but I could slap each and every one of them

Yesterday I decided to rename CJ.

He/she is far too graceful and beautiful to have such a teenage name, so I thought I would ask the first person to stop by the field to suggest a more fitting title!

Around 2pm a woman and her young daughter stopped to ask if I had any chicks for sale. After a brief conversation I asked the daughter ( who looked like Ugly Betty) if she could think of a new name for CJ.

I explained that the young Canada goose needed a name in keeping with her slim, graceful and pretty new image...

The girl didn't hesitate

"Camilla Parker Bowles!" she lisped without hint of irony

And so...children let that be a lesson to you all...... Camilla it is!!!

Camilla with trusty Badger still in tow

I will leave you with a note of caution.....

I was rushing this morning as I needed to get to my brother's house for 9.15am.

As I was galloping down to water the pigs I heard someone walking their dogs just beyond the hedge. They must have heard me as I was puffing and blowing like a steam train at full pelt..... as I got to the pig pen No 12 let out the longest and loudest fart I have heard in many a month, and immediately afterwards I could hear the person that was walking the dogs tut VERY pointedly.

I was too embarrassed to explain to "disgusted of Trelawnyd" that it was not me that broke wind quite so vociferously but the pig, but that's obviously what they thought!

Another nail in my social coffin me thinks